Although I was 27 at the time, my experience with women was not something to brag about. I am attractive in appearance, smart and interesting interlocutor, but modest in nature.
In my 18, if I liked a girl, I was ashamed to approach her and even talk. I dreamed a lot about relationships with those I liked, but I didn’t take any real steps before that because I was too afraid of unsuccessful consequences.
During my student years, I began to change a bit. There were many interesting moments and friends from which I could learn how to treat girls to please them.
The first checking…
Back when I was a student, the first serious girlfriend came into my life when I was 18. We were dating for 9 or 10 months, but then she moved to another city and the relationship started to deteriorate. I initiated the breakup because I just didn’t feel anything towards her. So I started ignoring her more and more. However, even after more than 10 years, she found me on the social network and wrote that she still loves me. I’m not boast of or something, it’s just how it is. I don’t think I’m special, it’s just that when I’m in a relationship, I really do my best and women probably like it. But when my feelings cool down, I can’t be insincere and relationship ends.
After the first serious relationship, there were a few more long-term relationships while I was studying at university. During that time there were also many non-serious relationships in my life (more than serious). However, I saw no reason to marry when I was 23.
Not SHE yet, but…
After graduating from university, I could not find a job in my specialty, so I had to go to work as a salesman in a mobile phone store. It was there that I met a “very serious woman”, reminding whom I have frostbite even now.
Although I had serious relationships before that, I was still completely inexperienced. And I got a toughie on my way. A real woman-manipulator who knew well the psychology of men and the subtleties of man management. I was then 24. My ex (manipulator-girl) was 23. But at the age of 23 she was already divorced and had a 4-year-old daughter. And everything would be alright if not for her reputation… She, to put it mildly… loved many men. I didn’t believe it until the last moment, until I caught her hot one day. But it was later. From the beginning, she managed to easily manipulate me. She clearly planned and picked a time to tell me about the daughter. I did not listen to what my close friends advised me and stopped communicating with many of them, even though they tried to tell me the truth. As it turned out, and as she told me herself, she just needed my apartment in the city because she was from the village. In Ukraine, the city and the village are a big difference, so most want to live in cities.
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But my story is not about that, but about real love and, as in the title, how I almost started dating a married Ukrainian woman.
SHE. Or where it all began…
After breaking up with the “manipulator” I was 25. I did not want to start a relationship, but just wanted to take a break from it all. I had a very stressful but well-paid new job and I seemed to be happy with life at the time.
However, 2 years later, when I was 27, my good friend (S) was about to marry with another good friend of mine (M). We were best friends at the time. That’s why I took a role of the main witness at their wedding.
Before their wedding there was a bachelor party. But the day before, all the most interesting things began to happen. I’ll run ahead and say that we were preparing for the wedding for 3 days, then it was the wedding itself and 2 days after the wedding. It was one of the most pleasant periods in my life so far – fun, eventful and enjoyable week. And the main factor in this happy serenity was SHE.
SHE came the day before the bachelor party and 3 days before the wedding. She was a student time friend of the bride and she was already married. SHE was from another city. At first I did not like her much visually, although she is quite beautiful – a slender figure, blue eyes, dark-blonde long hair. At first it seemed to me she wasn’t my type. In addition, I knew she was married.
Must say that at that time I was just going through a difficult period. I was just starting to have panic attacks and increased anxiety and I still didn’t know what kind of illness I was experiencing and how it could be treated (if could be). I did not know what was wrong with me. SHE also had serious emotional experiences at the time. SHE said she was unhappy with her husband. She married a former studentmate at the age of 24 because she was afraid that life would pass quickly and that she might be left unneeded. They were dating before marriage, but she did not love him and did not feel anything for him. By that time he had already betrayed HER and SHE found out about it. They went to bed separately and they had no harmony. By the way, they lived in HER apartment, which was given to HER by HER mother. Of course, she told me all this later, but gradually and not all at once.
I gave her a souvenir – a piece of iron wire that I found on the road.
How it all started … SHE was from another city, as I said. I, my groom-friend and my bride-friend met HER at the bus station of our city. We were joined by 2 more friends and we went for pizza. Later, we all went to the grocery store to buy stuff useful for wedding and fun bachelor party. We constantly joked along the way. She and I were already sitting next to each other. I gave her a souvenir – a piece of iron wire that I found on the road. It was like a joke, neglect and frivolity, but it somehow worked and touched her.
Then we, men, had a bachelor party. The women had a bachelorette party at the same time. We were at different restaurants in different parts of the city. Then we all met together at a nightclub. Then we came to the apartment of my gonna-be-married-soon friends and there for a long time were hanging out in the kitchen, talking, joking and drinking champagne. Then SHE took my hand and said “Let’s go to sleep.“
There was nothing between us what many would think about. The apartment was small and we slept on a mattress put on the floor in advance. SHE asked to hug her. Of course, I made an easy attempt to continue, but SHE slept soundly and I was too timid.
The next day in the morning was preparing for my friends’ wedding and later on the wedding itself (including Church ceremony, official ceremony, making pictures by lake n’ forest and celebration in a restaurant. It was very rich, interesting and unforgettable. At the wedding, SHE was sitting next to me, right next to the newlyweds, because I invited HER to take that place myself and SHE did not refuse.
All the guests saw that there was something between us, a spark, although in fact there was nothing else between us except for mutual interest and magnetism (chemistry). We spent the night after the wedding in the same house, slept together, but in a room where there were 6 more people (again on the floor).
I also felt the inevitable and painful separation is close and coming fast
The next day was the continuation of the wedding. In Ukraine it is widespread tradition. Many guests have already left for their cities, but SHE still remained. It was morning and I went to my place (first time in a few days). That time I felt that I would like to live with her all the rest of my life, but I also felt the inevitable and painful separation is close and coming fast. It is like as if you see a branch of a tree on which you are sitting being sawed and it will soon break. And together with the falling branch, all your dreams of a happy future with HER will fly down and brake into pieces. That day SHE took my cell number from the bride and called just to talk, although we were supposed to meet in 2 hours.
We met to continue the celebration. It was funny because we accidently dressed in similar colors. I had black pants and a red T-shirt, and she had red pants and a black blouse. We sat in a restaurant next to each other like a chessboard. After the restaurant we went out of town. It was very cold. We spent the night together again, but in a separate room and in the same bed. When I wanted to kiss her, she said she couldn’t. Then I thought it was because of her husband. I gave her a massage, but there was no chance to go further – she said she could not.
So tired and little drunk we fell asleep. The next morning we started to gather for her living. We had breakfast and drank tea together, then drove HER for the bus and SHE left.
Over the next two months, SHE called me literally 10 or more times a day. While at home, she was hiding from her husband to text me on social media. She called me many many times during work. One day her husband read her correspondence with me.
Not happy end
It all ended like this. Communicating with me all this time, she tried to forget… her lover from work. What a turn, ha? He was a married man who had 2 children and a good wife. One day during a business trip, they stayed together at the hotel and it all happened.
She could not forget him. He avoided her and even literary ran away from her when seeing. He even moved to another department at work so as not to see her. And she sincerely loved him. They could not be together. He had a family and a wife whom he would never leave. Because of this, she was depressed. Because she couldn’t be with him. Her depression and stress lasted for months.
The wedding of a friend, where we met, was a relief for her
As she told me later, she found a friend in my person with whom she was fine. I gave her hope to live and wake up. She also said that I inspired her and I am a very nice and bright person.
I still don’t get…
Even at this moment I still don’t know whether I believed in the illusion that we could be together. Whether I did everything wrong and because of that she didn’t perceive me as someone who could be a reliable partner?
At that time I did not have a stable job and vision of the future. Women love reliable men who go to the goal. I couldn’t show it to her at that time, and I had no idea it had to be done at all.
Maybe she really perceived me as a friend, but I felt the need for a girlfriend and created vain illusions? But it was so bright and real… So tangible… And also it was noticed by others… Or maybe I just had to sleep with her and everything would be different… Who knows… I’ll just say that I did not feel anything similar for anyone such as with HER. Apparently it was real love. Unrequited love. I loved her the same strong way she loved her ex lover. Such a real life story. And what do you think about this? The opinion of women is especially interesting. Please, write it in the comments what you think.