Nowadays it is a kind of a trend in the USA when men are looking for wife abroad. There are many personal reasons why they are doing it. Starting from personal impossibility to find girlfriend at home and ending with “money talk for everything”.
Making efforts to find devoted non emancipated wife who will eagerly play the role of traditional wife is what many American men dream of. But let’s omit the reasons why Americans more often are looking for wives abroad and focus rather on the topic.
One of not very popular and quite exotic country where Americans are looking for wife is Peru.
So, when the relationsip of American man and Peruvian woman got to the phase where people go to church and then register their marriage in civil authorities, the most interesting part of the show starts.
Their feelings developed quite quickly and dramatically. In the beginning, everything was like in a romantic movie. But time passed and problems began…
When a relationship is just beginning, few people think about the future. Hormone levels are “outrageous” and feelings, emotions and desires control a person. This applies more to men, but women also “lose their heads” and often can not think adequately.
To think adequately is to think about the consequences. These “consequences” are so serious that in the future they can ruin life and make a person responsible to own thoughtlessness and irresponsibility.
No one says you have to always be “Mr. Serious.” This is generally an extreme manifestation of caution and even prejudice. The idea is that all actions have consequences and this should be thought about in advance, even before planning a marriage with a woman from another country.
Are you ready to take responsibility
You can enjoy dating and socializing, but if you are a man and you like a woman and you are thinking about the upcoming wedding, start asking yourself questions right away.
She is from Peru. You are, for example, from the United States. Language barriers and cultural differences are nothing compared to your feelings and admiration for each other. In the beginning it really is this way. But in the future, cultural differences, differences in upbringing and social behavior can cause irritability, dissatisfaction, depression and even divorce.
As a man, you may have two main types of liability if your wife is from Peru and you are from another country. The first type is to take care of her and pay constant attention to her if she has moved to your country. The second is to accept the lifestyle, traditions, cultural differences and realities of life in Peru if you stay with your wife to live in her country.
Stay in Peru
Suppose you love your wife so much that you are ready to stay in Peru for her sake. It’s fine. But consider everything from the beginning. It is best to do it alone, in a calm atmosphere, without the influence of emotions, so that no one bothers you.
Staying in Peru till the rest of life
You have to realize that you will spend the rest of your life in this country. Yes, with her, but in this country. From time to time you will travel to the United States or other countries, but most of the time you will live in Peru.
Man gets used to everything
Everything is not as dramatic as it may seem at first glance. Man adapts to everything. Over time, you will have local friends, new acquaintances, and perhaps make friends with her brothers. You will also have new occupations and hobbies. But all this will be later, and the initial period can be quite difficult.
Look for the pros
If you have already decided to stay in Peru, look for the pros. For example, one of the advantages may be that your passive income from business in the United States allows you to live a rich and fulfilling life here. With this income in the United States, you would constantly need to think about insurance, debt, life in a constant race for survival. In Peru, life is calmer.
Opening your own business
In Peru, you will need to live for something. Having income from abroad, you must understand that it may get cut one day. It is unlikely that you will want to work in Peru having a regular job and receive the Peruvian average salary. So you should think about your business in Peru.
Maybe this is where your dream of starting your own business can come true. In the United States, you didn’t have the money, time, or courage to do it. And here you have a great chance, and sometimes it’s just a necessity.
Your children will speak Spanish or…
With business it is all clear. A good investment and understanding how to do business in Peru is the key to success. But what about non-financial side of more general issue? Your children will grow up in Peru and speak the language spoken here. Of course, you will teach them English, but it will not be the level of language proficiency… which their father has.
Living in Peru can deprive children of a promising future. The United States provides great opportunities for everyone to show their talents and achieve the American dream. Many people around the world dream of living in the United States. Would you like to deprive your children of this opportunity?
Living with Peruvian wife in the United States
Take care of her adaptation period
This is a new country for her. It can be very difficult for her. It’s about the level of language, and about a different pace of life, and about cultural differences. In the United States, only you will be her only friend at the beginning. It will be a long time before she finds friends among the locals. It is your responsibility to take care of her socialization.
She will miss her family. In Peru, people often live in a large family under one roof. Average Peruvian woman communicates with her parents, brothers and sisters almost every day. And imagine how in an instant it all disappears for her. This can even lead to depression. Therefore it is necessary to take care of her and to interest her in other different things. You name them.
Ask her what she has always dreamed of
Maybe there’s something she’s always dreamed of, but in Peru she couldn’t have it? There are probably many places in the United States where she has never been. You need to turn her attention to such interesting things.
Never let her stay home alone for long while you are at work.
Frequent flights to Peru in the beginning
In the beginning, you will need to visit her country and family more often. So she will quickly get used to the fact that the family is not so far away, and her life in the States has many advantages.
When the children appear…
When you have children, it will be easier for her, because she will spend most of her time raising them.
Justify your move to the US in advance
Talk to her. Explain why it is better to live in the United States. For example, because there you can have a constant high income, and in Peru you will not be able to work (or will have poor paid job). Starting a business in Peru can also be difficult or unrealistic if you have no experience and then you will lose your savings. Tell her about the prospects for future children when living in the USA.
Show your support
Of course, you can’t, don’t want to and shouldn’t be a babysitter for your wife. In addition, you have your personal life and work. But the fact that you are close, that you think and take care of her will help a woman to survive any depression, difficult periods and adaptation.
If your wife is from Peru and you live in the United States, you are much more responsible for her than if your wife were American. This is not a partnership, but you play the “breadwinner” role. Peruvian woman subconsciously expects the same – she’s learned to live that way.
Within some time she must find a job
The work will greatly help her get used to and assimilate. Much more than your care and effort to show her interesting places. Therefore, it is necessary to work in this direction, of course, taking into account her wishes and existing realities.
Her escape home to Peru
Why some foreign wives still would like to escape back home from American paradise? Now you know the answer. Due to all (some) of the reasons mentioned above. Or to say more – if American husband doesn’t really care about that reasons.
American man often would not like to stay in Peru for permanent living not only because of life comfort peculiarities and cultural differences, but because the source of his income is in the USA. Man has to go back home to provide newly created family with material needs. It does not matter in Peru everyone thinks he is extremely wealthy man with his average American salary.
Peruvian wife is also anxious to visit the USA. The country where everyone live like in the movies. The country she dreamed to visit since she saw the first Hollywood movie. Many Peruvians believe life in USA is like in paradise.
But often the expectations are radically different from reality and then the woman lives her unhappy and difficult life, or returns home to Peru.
Hard integration into American society
The step of further integration into American society is very hard psychological and emotional step. Many Peruvian women loose exactly here.
At home she got used to go at work during the week and here she sits and home, waiting for her husband. There aren’t even many house chores to do. Complete change of lifestyle.
In addition to that if you sit at home almost all the time, only sometimes visiting grocery you are going to have problems not only with physical, but also with mental health.
Such woman does not feel satisfaction from life and those rare visits to the restaurant cannot compensate all the pluses of maybe sometimes harsh, but active life wayback in Peru.
Trying to escape from this situation she improves English with all the efforts because that could give her a chance to find some work. Although often it happens that husband also is not willing his wife to go work because he is ok with having perfect wife at home.
He is not interested in her opinion because the time of romantic restaurants and evenings with the candles is somewhere far in the past.
In addition to that Peruvian woman in the USA does not have a chance for communication with friends and since we are all social creatures we badly need communication. Language barrier and cultural differences become for Peruvian woman a real barrier in finding new friends in the USA.
Nervous system is exhausted and is on the edge. Peruvian woman sees that actual life in the USA is not easy and to live here you have to work hard. Her hopes for paradise became just bunch of unreal dreams.
The husband is not that attentive and gentle as before. She does not see the point in the future and regrets about living Peru where everything was so understandable for her. That life was the life where she had some hope and struggling with difficulties made her much happier then sitting here doing nothing.
That is the high time when she packs her suitcase and goes to the airport leaving “happy” USA for “depressive” Peru. She is one of one hundred Peruvian women who decided to make this step. It makes her closer back home – to zone of comfort. The rest 99 would stay in the USA under the burden of marriage, children and other responsibilities that does not let to live her own life.
If you are going to marry Peruvian woman and live with her in the USA, be responsible. Consider all facts given by us. Find your own facts and posible difficulties. Discuss everything with her. Be wise. Reasonable questions, discussion, sincere answers and open mind would make you both happy.