There is so much information on the Internet about Ukrainian women concerning dating Ukrainian women, marriage and common life with Ukrainian women, characteristics, advices… – anything you like, but there is almost no information about Ukrainian guys. I thought it is rather unfair and decided to share my personal experience as I am with Ukrainian guy for two years and I am foreign woman (not Ukrainian). Women also have a right to know!
Describing my Ukrainian man first of all I must say I feel very satisfacted and I am very thankful I have suddenly met him in my life. I am Polish woman and there are many stereotypes about us on West. The same in Poland – we have many stereotypes about Ukrainians, usually pretty biased and non objective which have no truth under it. On West Polish women are known as pretty women who are predominantly labor migrants and many of them has created families with local men – German, British, Irish. In Poland Ukrainians are known as well as labor migrants and I have met my future Ukrainian boyfriend at work. We were working together in Restaurant on mountain ski resort. At first I did not have too much trust to Ukrainians and this is most because of that stereotypes about Ukrainians in Poland. Later I forgot about them but at the very beginning they were pretty strong.
I must say Ukrainian guys are handsome. I met many Ukrainians in Poland and many of them look very attractive so does mine. He was paying attention to me at work and we had small chats about nothing at the beginning of the work and sometimes – during the day. Sometimes we had common meal during the break in the restaurant (we had half an hour for staff to have a dinner in the restaurant) and he was kidding he asked me to go with him to the restaurant. Then he asked me whether I am on the messenger and added me to friends. We started to communicate more often by writing messages. Then he took my phone number and I text him in the morning before work and he usually texted me during work and at the end of the day. Must say he had very good Polish language and that made our communication possible as most of Ukrainian guys speak pretty bad Polish, unfortunately. So in a month we were making short calls, but still rarely.
I got to know many interesting things about Ukrainian guys. My Ukrainian was doing meditation regularly and as I never knew what is it I was curious. Later he taught me how to do short meditation and I really liked that. He was working in Poland in the restaurant because he wanted to try working on the kitchen. The other reason for his work on ski resort – he wanted to work in the mountains and change regular surroundings. But, he had a bunch of his websites! Some of them made him descent income which let him hire apartment in Poland and provide himself with food for the whole month. Some of his websites he just liked to provide because on one of them he was giving people psychological advices and on one he helped people to find work for free. He has YouTube channel where he films his bicycle trips to the forest where he’s cooking on fire – that’s his hobby which he really likes. He makes and sells e-books on Amazon. By the way, he has finished University in Ukraine and has Master’s degree in foreign languages. He speaks English, Polish, Ukrainian, Russian and basic German. Some sum of money he earned here in Poland at the very beginning he invested in development of his websites and he keeps doing it. In the past he had his own store in Ukraine where he sold cell phones with his friend. He likes to ride roller skates.
Let us back to our first date if we can call it this way. He asked me to go to the skating rink together but we did not have day off at one and the same day for long time. And finally it has happened – we went out with him. It was a winter day, but rather cold one and we had a small walk in the town in the mountains. Must say I was working at that restaurant temporarily as it was seasonal work for skiing season in the mountains – the same it was seasonal work for him. I had to buy small presents for my family and went with him and guess what… he insisted on buying these presents for my family. I wanted to buy them myself, but he asked me to do such a present for me. He also bought me silver necklace for present.
We had a good time that day and we went also to small cafe. In Ukrainian culture guy pays for the woman in restaurant and he insisted on it saying otherwise he would be offended. After that meeting we had only one time for going out together once more because at first we had no days off and later he had to leave Poland in a week. He asked administrator at work to make day off for him and for me one and the same day. We agreed to meet this day and to go to the big city which is just near our small mountain town. The day before I came back home after work and got a phone call from unknown number – it was post officer who delivered me huge bouquet of red roses with 35 roses each meter long (!), sweets and teddy bear. I was impressed. Those were flowers and presents from Ukrainian guy from work.
The next day we went to the city and because it was very cold outside most of the time we spent in the shopping mall, went to Burger King for ice cream, visited Tchibo coffee and had some nice coffee there, I bought myself shoes and some cosmetics. That was the last day we have seen each other before quite a long brake. This night he went to Ukraine and I had to stay at work for two weeks more. I was said because today we were spending time together during the day and the next day at this time he was in Ukraine already.
We kept making calls on messenger and in a month he came back to work, but I had to change my work till that time and move to the other side of the country. I must say I missed him so much, we were arguing and smiling, but it was real feeling. We kept planning our future. After he had long break in his work and I had finished my work he has made me great present for birthday – a trip to Greece. It was great time we spent together. In a month we hired an apartment and started living together. Now I will tell you a lot about Ukrainian guys, at least about mine 🙂 So keep reading.
I was afraid Ukrainian guys demand too much from woman, want her to be house keeper, want women to listen to man and so on. It is not true at all. Ukrainian guy is very attentive. Even when I cough he asks me if I got cold and maybe I should take pills or better – some healthy food, wheatgrass or vegetables. He likes cooking and makes great dishes, but from time to time. He can bring me flowers for no reason when coming back home after work. He does not like to clean the house but he helps me when I do cleaning. He proposes different things to do on the weekends – to go on the lake, to go hiking, to ride bicycles. Sometimes we prefer to watch movie together and stay at home. When I need personal space he understands me. You may think it is so ideal – no. We argue sometimes, but it ends up usually with pasionate kisses and… He really always is trying to satisfy me. He is in good shape because he has planned days when he does running, bicycle rides, swimming pool and gym trainings. He may suddenly propose me to make me massage. That is so cute and so cool and often exciting. He is not all that sweet, of course. Sometimes he just makes me steamed because when he has his point of view it is impossible to persuade him in the opposite. Sometimes we start yelling at each other but then we usually laugh. Must admit he is very good oriented in life and is smart and tough. Often within some time I realize that in many cases he was right (but I don’t tell him about this 🙂 )
Ukrainian guys have little old style attitude towards woman as for average Westerner, but it is pleasant one. They like to be a gentleman type guys and let woman go first by opening the door, they will pay for you in the restaurant and they assume man should earn more than woman, because otherwise he is not real man.
Some may say he uses me to get EU citizenship and get married because of that. I will disappoint you. Just before we started dating and live together he has got permanent residentship in Poland as his grandfather has Polish origin. If we were married the same document he would get only within 3-4 years. So in my case it is not about that.
But I described you my Ukrainian boyfriend. I am lucky to have him and he is the way he is. And I love him. But as you may assume all Ukrainians are different. My Ukrainian boyfriend has a friend and I could judge on his attitude towards his girlfriend. So a friend of my boyfriend is also Ukrainian and his girlfriend is Ukrainian as well. Their relationship differ at least from what I can see. When we go out somewhere together he does not let his Ukrainian girlfriend make free choice. When she wants to buy chips he may say this is expensive, but will still buy. He does not really care about her opinion, as I may assume. He accepts only what he considers being right and she has little choice, as for me. He is much focused on his work and keeping every cent to cent. He is also quite boring as for me. But he is reliable – you can trust him although it seems to me he is arrogant and selfish. His girlfriend is really cute but I am not sure he appreciates that and he just takes it for granted. Sometimes it is fun to be in their company and sometimes not really. If to judge on appearance – he is handsome, tall, has vivid muscles, as for years he goes to the gym.
As you see, Ukrainian guys are different as well. I am happy to be with mine, who loves me sincerely and I feel that. I love him and I really miss him when he is far. I gave you examples of two Ukrainians whom I know personally. Must say you can draw some general conclusions, but they are still very doubtful as every person has own character, upbringing, sphere of communication, society which surrounds this person, family and many other factors. So it depends not on country of origin or nationality, but rather on personal features of every particular Ukrainian guy.
Now let’s see the opinion of Ukrainian guy
What does Ukrainian guy wants from life?
Answer to this question was probably demanded by some superpowers. I couldn’t do anything else, even my main work at the office, but felt the need to write this piece of article.
No one but Ukrainian guy can tell better about wishes and points for life of a Ukrainian guy. Must warn you that it is my personal opinion as of Ukrainian guy, but there are thousands and millions of other Ukrainian guys who might either share their points in English or not, or not share at all.
So, what I, as Ukrainian guy, want from life? I want to be happy and I greatly appreciate when life consists of small things that bring me joy. For example, when I wake up in the morning I would like not to be in hurry, but to observe sunrise and after washing my face in cold water I drink a glass of cold water. Then I make myself tea. I like to think over what I will do today. I have this list in my head, and I also have it written. Usually on my laptop and even on the paper but I am to lazy to check it. Once I’ve checked it and realized that I have done almost all the things I have planned. Before I take my tea, I do some easy-to-do morning exercises like qigong, then I have my tea and then I do some yoga on my own. After that I take shower and after shower I have meditation.
How my perfect day looks like?
With the morning I have described already. Plus… This is the day where I decide what I would like to do. After my morning rituals I usually have inspiration to write an article about lifestyle, self-improvement or about my life experience. For example, about my work in Poland.
I actually like to share my personal experience which might help people to overcome difficulties, achieve their goals, and, maybe will make this World a little bit happier and… better. After one article I get hungry and have breakfast, but it is already closer to afternoon, so it might be not called breakfast in usual meaning. After breakfast I usually do some stuff on my computer and then, when I get tired of the monitor I take my bicycle and ride over the town heading to the rural field road, then to the forest.
In the forest I relax by making a fire and sometimes cooking something on it, sometimes I take my action camera and shut videos from my short rest on the nature. In the forest I also like to meditate and when I have inspiration I write articles on my smartphone as well. Then I have a ride home, take shower and do some other stuff. That is how my perfect day looks like when I am way back home in Ukraine.
How the reality looks like for Ukrainian guy?
For me it looks very different as earlier I described in “my perfect day”. Having Polish roots and possibility to assimilate in Poland I have chosen this country for my future life basis. At least now I think so. As for now I work in the office, but I don’t really like my job, and not only because I do not get much money here but also because I do not get much satisfaction from what I am doing. Although I have to pay the bills and it is also hard to save some money.
But here I have extra possibility to develop my own projects and that’s my goal. I hope within the time to earn enough myself, but not to work for someone else. I want this because this could give me great freedom – I could visit my parents and my family in Ukraine I miss not once a year, but when I want. I can visit my lovely forest in Ukraine and ride my bike when I want. I also could be able traveling – because I like it so much. Even now, working in the office, on Friday I often take bus to the mountains and spend two days there, getting rejuvenated and coming back on Sunday evening to the city. This gives me much more satisfaction than drinking beer in some stinky bar with weird people.
I like to travel, but now I am limited in budget and also limited in time and the last point upsets me the most. You would say why don’t you find yourself better paid job? I will say I tried, and I did. But in Poland it assumes working for 12 hours per day. I was working for 14 hours per day almost without days-off in Polish Beskid Mountains on the ski resort. It was season work, it was kind of hard and I earned pretty good money there for 3 months. It gave me possibility to travel a little and to spend some time in Ukraine developing my projects. Now I am in the office, but I am looking for remote translator job (Upd.: I have found already). I am fluent in English, Polish, Ukrainian and Russian, besides, I’ve got Master’s Degree in Philology and Translation, so I guess remote translations would fit my travel lifestyle perfectly.
In looks not that great as I am whether unable to provide family or I think so. I had a girlfriend here in Poland, but she was too focused on her own family and lived and worked with her mom even though she was 23. When I had season work her mother told I don’t have permanent job. I argued it does not matter, because I earn good money even though don’t work stable time (I earned 2.5 times more than average month salary in Poland). Then I have found another job – in the office, but her mother said now I work only 8 hours… wtf?
Along with this my girlfriend promised me 5 times in different time periods that she would move to me, but never did. I was mad when she said now she’s going to move to my place in half a year and we broke up. I must say in general she was ok, never asked for money or something, we spent great time together, but she was under deep influence of her mother. I often caught not her own ideas in her words. I think it was because her family assumed me as Ukrainian guy who has no stable work and so on, although she always told me it is not like that when I asked her. So most of her words were “implied” in her head as her own ideas by her mom. She did not understand that, and I could not stop explaining it and arguing with her.
What do I want and what woman I am looking for?
I want to work on my own projects in the future as full time job. I want to live with nice woman together, to rent apartment, to buy things together, to travel together. To have family in the future and kids, but not for now.
I don’t want to listen all that family stuff and biased stereotypes about Ukrainian guys that we demand our women to cook, to clean and stuff. I just want normal relationship with nice woman where we are partners, but independent partners, where we are together because we like it to be so. I want to show her Ukraine and Ukrainian culture, at the same time I want to explore her culture. I want to explore Poland together and also explore the world. I would like to make her presents and also would like to hear her opinion on what I am doing. I just want to be happy and to see the world I like. I hate permanent things like boring monotonous office work. I want to be free, and follow my inner soul feeling, but I need to survive the way I am now for at least half a year. Yes, again I have to, I have to.. I have to!! I’m sick of this, but fu** I have to…