Why Ecuadorian girls who are dating Americans want to come back to Ecuador?
It seems for many that life in Ecuador is hard and life in the USA is great, paradise like. A accept there are many those who have never heard about country of Ecuador and do not know where it is situated. However, connoisseurs of pretty girls know perfectly Ecuador is the country of great looking girls and many of them visit Ecuador in search of girlfriend. As relations of Ecuadorian woman and American man get stronger they are going to visit his place in the USA and stay there for long period of time.
What happens next? He works and she sits at home, practicing her English. They are dating and everything goes good in relations, they even were discussing marriage and he is happy, but she is not. Why is that so? Here in America she sits at home, staring at the ceiling and to live full colorful and active life every person has to do something, to make some work, to have personal goals and achieve it no matter will that be successful or not; the way to this achievement, called life, is the most important to every person on Earth.
To live rich, interesting life Ecuadorian woman has to integrate to the U.S. society and start doing some actions, like visiting different places, communicating with local people, maybe finding a job, even if this is temporary job. Every human being has to open horizons all the time, during all the time of living. Back at hope that Ecuadorian woman was working, having difficulties but knowing how to cope with them, she had harsh times sometimes, but in general she was happy no matter how paradox it sounds. She was happy in Ecuador and after coming to prosperous United States, she imagined paradise, she misses hope and doesn’t have plans for the future.
In the U.S. you have to work hard to survive and if you will just sit and think how poor am I nothing would happen. Nothing positive. She thinks how good was at home. She feels alien here and does not try to change it. She spends all the time having nostalgic memories of Ecuador. Back home in Ecuador she was in the zone of her comfort and here in the U.S. she is afraid to change it for unknown society challenges. And she should, otherwise her dream would come true, she would come back to Ecuador, but probably alone, without her American boyfriend.
As her boyfriend you have to explain her that back home she is going to feel cultural shock as well, because there are already things she has got used to in the U.S and which are absent in Ecuador. First of all you have to find her some activities she might be interested in. Involve her to some social work, even if she does not want (read: she does not want to leave zone of her comfort). Even if she would cry and nervous, take her out of the house. In a month she would get used to difficulties and feel happy about everyday little happy moments and achievements. Show her your support; show her how proud of her you are. Remember, she is completely alone in foreign country and you are the only one who supports and understand you.
If there are still talks about coming back to Ecuador, even since a year or little less, you have to talk with her openly. Talk about your career and advantages it gives. If she got used to living with you and if she loves you she will be with you. There might be some nostalgic periods in her life and it is normal. But if she is completely disappointed and wishes to come back all the time, if she is not happy and cries when you are not at home, then maybe it is better to let her go? Otherwise, how can you build future happy family with such girl?